boy, man...

I find this topic somewhat confusing. I see how saying "men and girls" is derogatory, but what about guys and girls? Is it ok because it brings everybody down to the same level, infantilizing women as well as men? I actually see it more of an amiable address, more so than "men and women".

I think formality has a lot to do with this. It doesn't sound quite right to address somebody as "woman", whereas saying "hey man" sounds fine. It seems like the term "woman" has become more formal than "man." This is possibly a result of the feminist movement. However, it doesn't sound right to say "hello man" because that's making man too formal, which is probably where "sir" and "ma'am/madam" come in (however, I don't think I've ever even said "madam" before)

What about guy vs. girl? "Hey girl" sounds ok, but "hey guy" sounds a little strange. Also, "hello girl" sounds demeaning unless you're actually addressing a little girl, whereas "hey girl" seems fit for women of all ages (when used in the right context). However, I suppose that the opposite of girl isn't guy, but boy, which seems to be a rung lower than guy. If that's the case, would gal be a rung higher than girl? And what about the terms son and daughter? "Listen, son" sounds ok between unrelated people if the person speaking is old enough, but you don't hear old ladies say "listen, daughter." Anyway, that's why I find this topic somewhat confusing.

I believe I have become more gender neutral over the years, preferring to use "everybody/everyone", "people", and "buddy" to address people, or using their name, or just saying "hey" (although I'll sometimes refer to my mom as "lady"...is that offensive?). I prefer these terms because they seem to be the most accurate and encompassing.